All I wanted was a recommendation for a good rom-com and Netflix let me all the way down. Netflix actually tricked me. I thought no one understood me better than Netflix, but this relationship was a lie. So, if you’ll indulge me: I have a quick story.
Rom-Com Fake Out: The Time Netflix Tricked Me
Let me set the scene for you: It’s a Saturday night and no part of my body or soul wants to go out and drink or socialize with other humans. I had all the conversation I needed chatting with my four-legged bestie, Sgt. Pepper. I’d read a few chapters of a book and decided to Netflix it for the rest of the night. I had wine and about a half a pan of salted caramel brownies at my disposal and all I needed was a rom-com to pair with it.
As I scroll through my options, I realized I’ve watched everything hundreds of times. I know all the dialogue for Two Weeks Notice, so I have to skip that one. Leap Year. I just watched that…next. Bridget Jones’ Diary: meh…Renee isn’t going to do it for me. Next. Hope Floats..Ok, Netflix I get it. You know I love Sandra Bullock. Step Up. Well, I just watched She’s The Man (the best Channing Tatum movie). So, I decide to skip that movie as well. As I continue to scroll I see a title I don’t recognize: Copenhagen and decide to give it a chance.
How Netflix Played Me
Now, here’s where everything starts to go left. The movie has 3.5 stars which is good enough for me, so I don’t really read the description. Big mistake. Huge!
The movie is about this 28 year old guy (this is important) named William. Moving forward, he will be referenced as homeboy. Homeboy is traveling to Denmark to find his grandfather. However, his only clue is an old letter he finds among the items of his deceased father who abandoned him. Homeboy doesn’t speak Danish and as a result needs help. He ends up meeting a nice girl who decides to help him with his quest. Homeboy clearly has issues with women. However, you see their chemistry and how she’s clearly quite different from all of the other women he’s encountered and is slowly changing him. It’s pretty cute. Here’s where it goes super sideways. Homegirl is 14. 1-4. As in illegal AF.
I’m now distraught and obviously felt the need to go back and read the description. Because how in the hammerhead halibut is this categorized as romance? I thought this was called pedophilia. Netflix tricked me!!
Actual Description: An immature womanizer in search of Dad. It’s about time someone helped him grow up. Even if it’s a girl half his age.
Thanks, Netflix! Now, that I’ve been flagged for watching this. My government job is now in jeopardy, but I felt like I might as well finish it since my name will forever be on a list. I might as well see how it ends. I think that there must be a twist. Surely, this 28 year old man knows better than to hang out with this, albeit mature,14 year old girl.
Here’s actual footage of me watching the rest of the movie:
Me: Homeboy don’t you dare tell her you love her. She’s slamming shots. No, no, no. Cigarettes? Don’t you dare kiss her. Leave your top on, ma’m!!
Suffice it to say, I was and still am very disappointed in Netflix for that rom-com fake out.