new year

Living My Best Life: Lessons I Learned in 2017

In 2017, I made a lot of mistakes. I’ve grown. I’ve failed. I have kissed a lot of frogs – although some were pretty cute. I’ve learned to truly embrace my flaws and recognize them as things that make me unique.  All of these experiences taught me valuable things.

Living My Best Life: Lessons I Learned In 2017

 Living My Best Life: Lessons I Learned in 2017 - The Palmetto Peaches - palmsinatl.com

Bad days are allowed.

I usually try to be a positive person, but no one is positive all the time. I’m not sure when I heard and decided that I had to be that way every day. It was exhausting.  It’s okay not to be okay, as long as you don’t dwell in that negativity.

I am enough.

As confident as I think I am, I still have moments of self doubt or moments where I lack self-confidence. At the beginning of the year I remember saying I loved my natural hair, but I still didn’t want people to see it. It wasn’t long enough. My curls weren’t popping like that girl on Instagram. What if someone made fun of it?

SO WHAT!!

I can’t compare myself – whether it be hair, finances, body, career- to anyone else. As soon as I truly believed that, I was free to believe that I was enough.  By the summer time,  I had a hot rugby player throwing me in the pool – natural hair shrinking in the water –  and him playing in my 4c curls poolside, saying how “lovely” my hair was in his New Zealand English.

Living My Best Life: Lessons I Learned in 2017 - The Palmetto Peaches - palmsinatl.com

Real gs move in silence.

Or as the great poet Dwayne Michael Carter, Jr. said: “Real Gs move in silence like lasagna”. Stay with me. I would say I’m pretty open about my life. If someone asks me a question, I’ll answer it honestly. However, this year I watched some people announce some of the plans or dreams they were pursuing and then literally saw people wish these plans and projects nothing but failure. In 2017,  I realized that there are so many people who hope you fail rather than wish you succeed. So while I’ll continue to be open I’m gonna keep my projects and plans close to my chest until they’ve come to fruition.

Healthy relationships are vital.

I’m not talking about romantic relationships. We need people who are willing to motivate us and keep us moving in the right direction. Someone told me they had friends and then they have life bonds. Isn’t friendship a lifelong bond? I thought.  But then I started listing all of the people I labeled a friend. Many of them have no clue what’s currently going on in my life. I’ve been through some tough things this year, like issues at work and deaths in the family. It was during these times I really saw who I’ve created a life bond with. Some bonded by blood and some via tequila shots taken on sticky floors in bars on Harden St. that no longer exist. They lifted me up mentally and spiritually when I needed words of encouragement, a laugh, a hug, or caffeine.

Sometimes you have to scrap the plan.

And this is coming from the planner girl.  I would sometimes frustrate myself when I couldn’t complete my to-do list or the plan didn’t come together just perfectly. However, this year I’ve learned to be flexible and I’ve learned that I can’t control everything. I can only control myself and my reaction to a ruined plan. Sometimes you have to change the plan (mid-way through) to continue the course.

You can’t hurry love

When I go out on dates I inevitably get the question: Why are you single?

I used to say I don’t know or I’m still having fun.  However, in the back of my mind, I would repeat the things that exes have told me when I broke up with them: I’m selfish.  I don’t know how to love.  I’m too independent.

Here’s the thing: I do know how to love. I love my family, my friends (life bonds), and my sweet little pupper. I love life. I just didn’t love them. I am independent, but I  am willing to be a unit with a right person – to rely on them and have them lean on me. I’m selfish, but only when it comes to my happiness. I refuse to sacrifice my joy to settle into an ordinary life with an ordinary love. I will be enough for the right person and there’s no need to rush it. While I’m so incredibly happy for all of my friends that are married, or in  relationships, there is no expiration date on when I’ll find the one.  Maybe 2018 will be my year or maybe it won’t – either way I’m good.

Thanks for reading!

I’ll be back in the new year with new content and ideas for the blog! See you dolls and gents in 2018!

Donni Siggy--The Palmetto Peaches

27 Taught Me

As of January 19, 2016, I officially survived the 27 Club. In a nutshell, 26 and 27 weren’t my best years. Feels like after 25, life dropped me off at a train station with all the baggage I could pack.

To me, my birthday is a personal New Year. So as it got closer to my special day, I started to think about all the life lessons 27 taught me.

27 Taught Me--The Palmetto Peaches
Now that I’ve fully recovered from all the celebrating, it’s time to put these lessons in a blog post. Please note: This list isn’t numbered. One of the things 27 taught me is numbered lists on Word Press aren’t my friend.

27 Taught Me…

I will never be this young ever again. While watching the Golden Globes, I couldn’t help but notice some of my childhood favorites are aging. One year someone told me, “You only turn 25 once.” My initial reaction was, “Isn’t that the same for every age?” That’s exactly the point–I’ll never be 27, 26, 25 etc EVER again. #YOLO

I still don’t have the patience to be responsible for a child 24/7. Two hours is my cut-off. I’ll re-evaluate this again at 29.

I need better business skills. I’ve given people ideas and hashtags basically for free. Now they’re making money off them, and I’m in the corner looking basic. A real businesswoman wouldn’t have let that happen.

Silence is golden. Maybe it’s because I come from a big family, or maybe it’s because I always have 8 million thoughts in my head–but I love having peace and quiet.

27 Taught Me--The Palmetto Peaches
Having financial stability is a major key to success. All of my stress goes back to money issues. All. Of. It.

I’m a starter, not a finisher. I love getting details together. But when it comes to execution, I’m not the one. It could be my insecurities and fear of failure, but at least I can acknowledge this weakness. Right?

Not everyone’s path to their purpose is the same. More importantly, not everyone has the same purpose.

Social media flexing is real. It’s great people celebrate their best moments on social media. I mean, who wants to read negative posts all the time? But it’s easier to forget that just because this person is engaged, doesn’t mean they’re in a great relationship (unfortunately); and just because she’s got your dream job, doesn’t mean she isn’t battling depression.

Wine is always a good idea. Don’t try and tell me otherwise. 

Filling my mind with positive thoughts is easier said than done. Way easier.

Even when I don’t want to, talking to my friends about my problems is a major key. Sometimes you need someone to be petty with, but sometimes you need someone to put you in check.

When in doubt, twerk it out. Twerk sessions are the new happy hours. Okay, maybe that’s a stretch. But even if you can’t dance, cardio and laughter are good for the soul.

I underestimated the power of my living environment. Little things I take for granted play a big role in my productivity and sanity: a comfortable bed, a dryer, hot water…the list goes on.

Caffeine is the real MVP. I’m typing this off one cup of coffee right now, and I’m bound to fall asleep at any moment. Struggling, yo.

Privacy is necessary. Another reason why I don’t see kids in my near future. If I don’t have time to be still and enjoy my own company, hell may break loose.

I’ve done some pretty cool things in my life. I didn’t learn this for this first time at 27. Maybe I learned it again. I was talking to a young lady in her early 20s, and hit her with that… “When I was your age, I…” It was fun sharing some of my stories, while learning about her accomplishments.

The struggle is more real without faith. I’m a very practical person. My motto for year 27 was, “I got questions.” It’s hard to see better days when the bad days are clouding my judgement. Without believing in something, especially yourself, you could fall for anything.

My MacBook was my bae. On a very sad day in December, my MacBook, Chloe, stopped working. My life hasn’t been the same since. Writing blog posts and creating social media campaigns were easier to bare with Chloe. My poor thumb needs a break from this iPhone.

My friends are pretty dope. This isn’t breaking news, but I got a few reminders last year.

27 Taught Me--The Palmetto Peaches
27 Taught Me--The Palmetto Peaches
27 Taught Me--The Palmetto Peaches
My family is also pretty dope, especially my sisters. Again, not anything new.
27 Taught Me--The Palmetto Peaches 

I can’t make fetch happen. If you’ve never seen Mean Girls, let me break this down for you. People will do and feel what they want, regardless of how badly I want them to do or feel something else.

My childhood is sneaking back up on me. We moved a lot. To the point to where I was embarrassed to have my friends pick me up, because my address changed three times in one school year. This was a big part of why I went to college, for stability. But here I am, an aspiring adult and I’ve had more jobs and “homes” than my friends may have in their lifetimes.

As much as I think I always follow my instincts, I don’t.

Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy wine, pizza, coffee, Netflix and a lot of the other things that make me smile.

Gotta keep it moving. Life is going to on with or without me. I can get up and show up, or I can sit in the dark all day and cry–either way, the show will go on.

Things could always be worse. Always. There’s no greater reality check than reading or hearing about devastating world news. Also, nothing puts things in prospective like remembering you’ve been through worse. Example: I’ve gained weight since “moving” back to Charleston in May, but part of the reason why is because I was hungry in Atlanta. Hungry as in, “Am I going to hop on this MARTA or buy bread?” Or as in, “I need this 5-pack of noodles to last me a whole week.” So, yeah my clothes don’t fit like they used to but at least I have clothes, and at least there’s food on the table.

I probably should’ve started writing this the day I turned 27. I may have missed a few gems from my 365 days as a 27-year-old, however, I’m going to try to keep a little list in my phone of lessons I’m learning during the great 28.

Did you count to make sure I listed 27 things? ☺ What life lessons have you learned in your personal New Year? What advice do you have that could help make 28 my greatest year yet?

Ace Siggy--The Palmetto Peaches