I’ve spent approximately 25 hours in the past few months watching Rachel Lindsay as The Bachelorette. I avoided every spoiler and blocked any mention of Reality Steve from popping up on any of my social media feeds or Google cards the entire season, but had my guess which man would get the final rose.
The final episode aired what Chris Harrison would say was one of the most dramatic breakups in Bachelor history. I haven’t seen every season but it was pretty emotional and I think there are some real world takeaways regarding breakups. Okay, but before I get to the real world application I have to admit I was #TeamPeter.
The Bachelorette and Breakups
The entire season I fell for what the producers wanted America to see of Peter: perfection. Perfection that came in the form of a former model, with the cutest gapped-tooth smile, salt-and-pepper hair, and swoon worthy moments. Please see the evidence of my infatuation:
— Donnica Smalls (@donnicakelsey) June 20, 2017
when peter comes on the screen i immediately feel relaxed, my acne is clear, my crops are watered #TheBachelorette
— alex (@liamsglorydays_) June 20, 2017
— Donnica Smalls (@donnicakelsey) June 6, 2017
And even watching Monday night’s finale, I was all the way here for him making breakfast shirtless and giving Rachel forehead kisses for the rest of their lives. Alas, Peter would not be the last man standing/kneeling and Twitter was outraged.
However, I think Rachel made the right choice. Through editing we only saw them swapping kisses, but it was clear she lit up around Bryan. We’ll have to see if they will be one of the few Bachelor/Bachelorette/Bachelor in Paradise couples to make it, but I’m rooting for them.
Many people were calling Peter reasonable for not wanting to propose after a short amount of time. I applaud him, but I think people are forgetting he was completely aware of how the show works. I saw tweet after tweet and many articles calling Rachel a ring-chaser or claiming she was just after a proposal. It was more than that. Peter’s reluctance wasn’t just about not wanting to rush things. He was actually saying, “I’m not sure I will ever be ready to marry you.”
Rachel had every right to be frustrated that after being very clear of what she wanted, and not wanting to peer pressure him into proposing. That was her decision people. Homegirl, said I’m 32 and I’m over being someone’s girlfriend with no promise that they’ll ever want to commit to me.
She asked for what she wanted and would not be persuaded of otherwise.
PETER THE PETTY
After a lot of back and forth about this process ending in an engagement and what the future would like, Peter hurled one of the cruelest, f*ckboy statements out at Rachel: “Go find someone to have a mediocre life with.” My immediate thought was how could Perfect Peter say something so mean to the woman he’s allegedly in love with. It also took reminded me of a breakup where I was lashed out at. Instead of telling me to go have a mediocre life, I was told I would never find love. Anyways, the format of the show is obviously not made for someone like Peter. So if he’s the next Bachelor, I call shenanigans and will be convinced he used Rachel. Compare Peter to Eric (who was rocking a sexy revenge beard), who struggled at the beginning with the format of the show, but eventually came around and took a leap of faith.
The Bachelorette and Breakups: Real World Application
In Rachel’s post-finale interviews she mentions of how she felt manipulated by Peter. He would give her just enough to keep investing in him and then pull away. I’ve been Rachel. Maybe you’ve been Rachel. Not arguing over a proposal, but commitment. Peter is the guy who talks about your future together, but still has Tinder on his phone. Peter is the type of guy that will stay with you for seven years and make a statement like: Why do we need a paper/ring, I already feel like I’m married to you. To be fair, this could be a guy or girl, purposefully stringing you along or saying just enough to keep you. The argument is that Rachel settled for Bryan (for a ring). I think she was always ready and willing to be with Bryan.
So take Rachel’s lead: Be firm in your expectations in a relationship. Don’t settle for the emotionally unavailable man or woman you have to work for.
Any advice on The Bachelorette or breakups? Leave a comment below!