“Go home, 2014, you’re drunk.” Me, everyday last year.
My 2014 was drunk. I’m not talking about that good, fuzzy wine-drunk–I’m talking having a $75 tab on $1 vodka night drunk. This time last year, I was sleeping on my sisters’ couches. After a series of unfortunate events, my cute bachelorette pad in Downtown, Charleston was no more. It didn’t burn down or anything. I was just broke. Whenever I say I’m “broke” my aunt chimes in with some inspirational speech about how being broke or broken refers to losing my spirit, heart and mind. I didn’t lose those things in 2014, but I felt like I was damn close to it.
My drive, my passion, my self-confidence– all of it was packed up in plastic bins and cardboard boxes, right next to my high school yearbooks and photo albums. As much as I’d love to blame the clients who weren’t paying me what I was worth, or the cold weather that made me never want to get out of bed–I can’t. I settled. I got comfortable. I was not myself. I kept a pretty decent poker face though. (Nope, that’s not why the call me Ace.)
Lately I’ve been keeping it real with myself. Everything that is happening or already happened, is a result of MY thoughts and actions. My high school Global Studies teacher, Mr. Orvin, told us we could either adapt, move on or go extinct. Adapting aka settling is where I went wrong, and I have too much to accomplish before I go extinct, aka give up–so moving on is my best bet.
I’m not completely where I want to be yet, but 2015 is already better. I’m in a new city, with my own space, working on something I’m excited about. I have a long list of things to not do this year, but instead of dwelling on them–I’ll focus on the things I want to do and achieve.
- Meet the Queen Bey. I’d be okay with making eye contact with her, or just caressing her leg–whichever comes first.
- Be present. I’m a Capricorn. I’m a worrier. I’m a planner. I get it, whatever. And although those are the things that make me who I am, they can be annoying. I’m trying (like really trying y’all) to not dwell too much on the past, and to avoid trying to fix something that isn’t even broken yet.
- Gain and maintain financial stability. Bruh, I am tired of being the friend with the flask in her purse, not because she’s a lush, but because she’s on a TIGHT budget.
- Work for MYSELF 100%. I’m still working on my entrepreneurial spirit, but Lord knows I’m tired of the freelance #StrugLife.
- Visit 5 cities or states I’ve never been to. My list so far: Savannah, GA; Denver, Colorado…Yeah, that’s it.
- Master meditation. When I’m going through it, Oprah and Deepak are my BFFs. I live for their free guided meditation challenges. My goal is to be able to do it on my own.
- Fit all my clothes the way I did in 2011. I lost 40lb in 2011 *flips hair*. But I’m pretty sure I gained like 30 in depressing ass 2014.
So far, 2015 is giving me that fuzzy, wine-drunk vibe. I’ll keep you posted if I’m hung over or not. Was your 2014 drunk like mine? What are your goals for 2015? Comment below or share them with me on Twitter @TheAceAlexa!
