You may have heard about the tweet from South Carolina Govenor Nikki Haley to someone (a name I refuse to type in this post), after being called an embarrassment to her state. She hit him with the good ol’ fashion, “Bless your heart“. If you’re from the south like The Palmetto Peaches, you know “Bless your heart” is a nice way to dismiss someone and their actions or opinions. If there’s anything I’ve learned from my love/hate relationship with reality TV, it’s that a good read doesn’t require a lengthy speech. Only a few words are needed to set your haters straight.
Even though the phrase usually does the trick, sometimes it isn’t enough. Every now and then, you have to add a little more attitude, a dash of sass. Here are 10 of my favorite ways to get a point across when “Bless your heart” isn’t enough.
Things to say when “Bless Your Heart” isn’t enough
“You tried it!”
Olivia says: That shirt is cute on you, but looks better on me.
Janet responds: You tried it! Bless your heart.
“Boy, bye.” / “Girl, bye.”
Olivia says: That shirt is cute on you, but looks better on me.
Janet responds: Girl, bye. *walks away* Bless your heart.
“You thought!”
Olivia says: That shirt is cute on you, but looks better on me.
Janet responds: You thought! Bless your heart.
“Or nah.”
Olivia says: That shirt is cute on you, but looks better on me.
Janet responds: Or nah. *pauses to admire reflection* Bless your heart.
“Bye, Felicia.”
Olivia says: That shirt is cute on you, but looks better on me.
Janet responds: Bless your heart. Bye, Felicia! (Click here to find out who Felicia is, and why she’s always going somewhere.)
“Have a seat.” / “Have several seats.”
Olivia says: That shirt is cute on you, but looks better on me.
Janet responds: Have several seats. *confirms how great she looks in the mirror* Bless your heart.
“Get your life.”
Olivia says: That shirt is cute on you, but looks better on me.
Janet responds: Get your life. *adds an epic eye roll* Bless your heart.
“I can’t.” / “I can’t even.”
Olivia says: That shirt is cute on you, but looks better on me.
Janet responds: Bless your heart. *takes deep breath* I can’t.
“Child, please.”
Olivia says: That shirt is cute on you, but looks better on me.
Janet responds: Child, please, bless your heart. (The noun “child” can be swapped with other nouns, some more offensive than others.)
“Can you not?”
Olivia says: That shirt is cute on you, but looks better on me.
Janet responds: Can you not? *followed by an intense side eye* Bless your heart.
Please note that you can combine these reactions as well. Examples:
“Okay, girl…bye. Bye, Felicia.”
“Child please. You tried it!”
“Have a seat, and get your life.”
While I appreciate good vibes and positive energy, sometimes a good comeback is necessary. Did I miss any? Leave a comment with your favorites, or tweet me @PalmsInATL!
This is great!!! I’m a southern girl too and bless your heart is one of my favorite phrases! Thanks for posting!
This is great! I’m a southern girl too and bless your heart is one of my favorite phrases! Thanks for posting! I can’t wait to see what’s next from the palmetto peaches. I’m going to go subscribe 🙂
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