PANK = Professional Aunt, No Kids.
Yes, it’s a real term I discovered while reading Annie Wermiel’s “The most undervalued women in America are childless aunts“. Since the sweet age of 7, I’ve been living the Auntie life. Fast forward to 21 years later, and I’m helping to plan baby showers and bachelorette parties AT LEAST once a year. As I type this, I’m mentally preparing myself for a gender reveal, 2 baby showers and a bachelorette party…within the next 4 months.
“Today, 48 percent of women of fertile age are childless, up 35 percent from 1976. In a 2012 national joint-study by Savvy Auntie, along with Weber Shandwick and KRC Research, we found 23 million North American childless women — or one in five women age 18 and up — have a special bond with a child in their life, by relation or by choice through friendship.”
This is the part where I tell you that in August 2017, I’ll have a total of 15+ special kiddos in my life. FIFTEEN. They didn’t live in my womb for 9 months, but they’re mine and I’ll fight you if you try to tell me otherwise. Although I love being #AuntieAce, I’m going to admit that I’m not as professional as a typical PANK.
5 Reasons Why I’m Not A Typical PANK
- I don’t change diapers. Clearly, I will if I have to but it’s a lot for my weak stomach to take in. In the article, Wermiel said she’s changed her fair share of diapers. Can’t relate.
- I’m not going to offer to babysit on a regular basis. Partially because I’ve lived with most of my nephews longer than I haven’t lived with them. Ace: The In-House Aunt. Give me a few years and I’ll be the “come spend the weekend with me” type of aunt.
- My favorite dishes to cook are Take-Out and Delivery. Cooking is not my strong point, but I’m can order food and tip very well.
- Newborns have to be a certain size before I hold them. Like bottles of wine, babies are precious cargo and they should be treated as such. Also like wine bottles, I would have a panic attack if I dropped a baby. Yes, I just compared children to wine.
- I use words and laughter to spoil kids, not gifts. According to The Savvy Auntie, “The average PANK spends $387 on each child in her life, each year, while 76 percent spend over $500 on each niece or nephew.” Remember when I said I’ll soon have 15+ kids in my life? Auntie Ace balls on a budget.
All that really matters is the kids love me, and their parents trust me. We’ll see how they feel after this post though. Are you a PANK or PUNK Professional Uncle, No Kids (LOL)? What’s your life like with your nieces and nephews?